Test-driving supercars is a unique, exhilarating and rewarding job that never gets old. Frequently, while I’m driving, I say “Bless this job, bless the fact that I don’t have to insure this car, and bless the continual appearance of machines in my life, yes.”
Believe it or not, though, there are some things that suck about it.
Here are a few reasons why supercars can test your (petal to the) mettle:
*Driving a supercar is like TYPING IN ALL CAPS WHEREVER YOU GO. There is no casually coming and going, even if it’s to the supermarket. It’s a daily taste of false fame whether you’re in the mood or not as folks approach and demand you list the cars’ specs, price and anything else they can think of. If you’re patient, you’ll be there 5 hours. If you cut the person short and be on your way, you’re a jerk. Sometimes I want to hang a sign on the car: DRIVER MUTE or INFORMATION 1$ A MINUTE.
*You feel even worse for homeless people than usual. “I can’t enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.” Woody Allen, “Annie Hall”.
*Every smile you get from attractive strangers is suspect. Would they flash their pearlies if you passed by in a Camry? I think not.
*People drive inches away from you on the highway to get a better look. They also want to race their Maxima or Civic against your car. Sorry—savin’ it for the track, Jack.
*When you park the car in any public place, there will most likely be fingerprints on the windows and hood when you return. I understand looking. But why touching? Paws off, please.
* A supercar lifts your mood, but not forever. You sit in traffic like anyone, other drivers cut you off and a car whose top speed is 200 MPH doesn’t get you to work any faster—ya gonna do 200 on the Saw Mill, Jersey Turnpike, I-95? Nein!
Bottom line? Lamby can’t buy you love. – Josh Max, AutoGigolo