Teens practice beginner driving skills on busy highway

Keep back – keep wayyyyy back.

I had just pulled into a Hawthorne parking lot adjacent to the Saw Mill Parkway and was getting out of my car when I heard the sound of an angry voice coming over a police loudspeaker. I looked and saw a female cop ordering someone in a BMW 3-series to pull into a space near me, and shut off the car. The driver jerk-jerk-jerked to a stop.

I saw a very pissed-off cop get out of her cruiser and approach the driver of the BMW.  I couldn’t hear what was said, but whatever the driver of the BMW had done was serious enough for an extended chew-out. On and on the cop went.

I kind of like when female cops yell at me. It doesn’t happen too often, but it happens.   Hell, female attention is cool whatever way it comes–with guns, batons, a badge.  (AutoGigolo slaps own face)

I got bored listening to this copper spew, though, so I went and got a cup of iced coffee before going into the gym.  When I came out of the shop, two girls were circling the BMW, obviously rattled, and obviously the ones who’d been yelled at.

“Hey!” I called. They looked.

“What did you do make that cop yell at you like that?”

“Neither of us can drive a stick shift,” said one. “So I was practicing on a side street.”

“Nothing wrong with that. “

“Somehow we ended up on the Saw Mill Parkway, and I panicked.”


“I kept stalling out. So finally we just parked with the flashers on, and called 911—on ourselves.”

“So the cop showed up and was pissed off?”

“Yes, and we didn’t even DO anything.”

And these, my friends, are the ones you and I share the highway with.

There ought to be different-colored belts for drivers, parents, musicians and writers, just like in Karate.  If a car’s got a yellow belt, stay far, far away.

-Josh Max, AutoGigolo