SLOGANS, SHMOGANS

STICK THIS!

One of the main points criminal lawyers attempt to establish in court is motive – why someone stole that statue, why that driver hit six parked cars (he was eating a hot dog) or why Lee Harvey Oswald didn’t go out to lunch at 12 noon instead of, well…

Why do people plaster not only the outsides of their cars with stickers – but cover their back windshields?

Sticker PEACE

It’s got to be an addiction. Nobody wakes up in the morning and puts 200 stickers on their car. You start with one, maybe someone says, “Right on! We should bring back the Dodo bird!” or someone else says, “Whirled peas – ha, that’s a good one.”

Before you know it, you need SA – Stickers Anonymous. “We admitted we were powerless over stickers – that our car had become a mess of slogans, demands, insults and rants.”

You’ll notice a lonely peace sign top center of the glass, too.

Stickers

I was once told by a pro driving instructor, “Whenever you see a car with a peace sticker on it, give it lots of room. Lots.”

I love the peace sign and flash when appropriate, but I don’t need a shirt or a sign or a slogan or to force my peace on anyone who may or may not be peaceful. If one is peaceful, thou art that, yes? A clam doesn’t need a peace sign. A clam won’t yell at anyone his whole life, won’t even raise his voice. Have you ever seen a clam with a sticker on his shell? Even one boosting the Grateful Dead? No.

Humans, on the other hand, slaughter each other by the hundreds of millions.

I bet Goddess would tell us to cool it with the peace signs and just be peaceful.

Still, this is America, baby – you’ve got a right to scream whatever you wish.

Quote Raymond Massey in “The 49th Parallel,” speaking of Democracy: “We own the right to be fed up with anything we damned please and say so out loud!”

But when I see a car like the one in this photo, I don’t ponder the slogans, I say to myself, “You poor thing. You’ve got diarreah of the car.”

Careful out there, folks.

Josh Max/Auto Gigolo

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