According to Da Luxe’s slick slogan, “Anything worth driving, eating, wearing or bucket listing,” the Pavlok shouldn’t be here – but it is.
Why? Because where it fails as a solution for the very-real problem of addiction, it works in other ways – as a fascinating technology, a museum piece direct out of 2016, aimed at our ever-connected lives which, last time anyone looked, were still as miserable as they were in 1990 in that we all overeat, overspend, oversmoke, overshop, overgamble, oversex, are constantly late, pick on our partners, curse life instead of celebrating it, and the list goes on.
To combat our societal bent on self-destruction, there are a blizzard of remedies for sale offered, remedies we shan’t get into here.
How the Pavlok works:
- Let’s say you can’t button your pants or zip your dress, or you’ve maxed out your credit card again -whatever it is you do – and you buy this gadget, download the app, and put it on.
- You arrange, via friends and the app, to be zapped when you misbehave, leave the house too late as usual, don’t show up at the gym, and so forth. Zap, zap, zap.
- In days, it’s said, you’ve quit smoking, dumped your loser partner, gotten up at 4:30 AM to go run 100 miles every day, eschewed Cinnabon in favor of carrot-flavored hot water, and so on.
Some things you should know:
*This thing hurts; when I put it on and zapped myself, the shock was so forceful I dropped the unit on the floor. I never could get the setting to go lower, but truth be told, I was kind of done with this thing almost as soon as I put it on.
*After a couple of shocks, you take it off and put it on top of the treadmill – the one in the corner – and never put it on again.
You want to quit something, quit it and go through the agony of it rather than tethering yourself to a toy.
But! It makes a good conversation piece – and you can also put it back in its package, wrap it with a bow, and give it to someone you don’t like.